calling all superheroes!

i would like to take this opportunity to formally invite all who read this blog to please register their superpowers with me. i have developed a new team-based mentality about superhero work, and i believe the first step is for us to know what exactly we're working with. of course, please feel free to register under your superhero name if you wish to maintain the integrity of your secret identity. i don't want all that responsibility anyway. all you have to do is comment with your super-name and any powers/skills you posses that you feel can help save the world. i will start by registering myself here:

powers: very low blood pressure, amazing make-out intuition, the power to find humor in ANY situation, the uncanny ability to sense others' superpowers, and "natural moves"*

skills: massage, beverage invention/construction, karaoke, extensive aquatic skills*

*this list is complete to my knowledge as of this posting and does not include powers/skills that may yet manifest/be acquired

i am also taking suggestions on names for our league of superheroes.

you may be reading this thinking, "i don't have any superpowers." well, let me tell you, we live in a time of unprecedented superpower manifestation and i am willing to bet you DO have powers. and you know you have skills! it's time to start using them to battle evil!

thank you for your participation.

MU is played! TNT whuh whuh!!

ok, some of you may not yet have had the pleasure of seeing stomp the yard. see it. i mean, it's got moves that don't stop! that dancing is REEEdiculous! maaaany HOT guys with shirts off, (don't worry guys, there are some fine ladies as well... just not as many - ha!.) personal growth and triumph over adversity! happy endings! and of course, there are countless golden opportunities for interaction - random commentary by the viewer(s) only adds to the experience.

you might ask, "how has stomp the yard changed your life?" first and foremost, it has introduced me to the apparently thriving world of competetive stepping. i mean, some of it looks sort of easy, but trust me, it's NOT. i've already started practicing for my ward talent show in april, and let me tell you, my team and i are going to need every day until then to perfect our fly routine. second, this marvelous film has taught me the valuable lessons of humility and teamwork. take my work as a superhero for example (see post above.) i used to think my superhero sh*#! didn't stink and that i could save the world all on my own. now i know, it's not all about me showing off and getting the glory. it's about the TEAM. what team? the human team! we need to work together to "step", if you will, into a brighter future. deep, right?

tongula

what's 16" long, part super-heat-resistant plastic, part metal, part tong, part spatula???
The Tongula!
yes, i had the good fortune to be professionally trained on tongula use this evening. let's just say, you haven't flipped food until you've flipped it with the tongula. i mean, we're talking professional grade here. total control. i'm not even sure you can buy one without a license. but if you have a hook-up, i suggest you get your mitts on one. this could be the next NEXT level for your culinary experience.

throwing down!

so, i was recently called out with regards to "throwing down." it went something like this: "keep it up, cuz i WILL throw down." antagonist responds: "you've been saying so all night, but it looks like you're all talk. let's go." at which point i realized, what exactly had i meant by "throw down?" fight? wrestle? debate? name calling? battle of witty banter? dance off? make out? (this last possibility may seem out of place, but trust me, it isn't.) it hit me like a freight train. my adrenaline response spiked. i didn't know what i meant, but whatever i did mean, i was gonna DO IT. now you may or may not have experienced the unpleasant sensation of a body full of adrenaline with nowhere to go. let me just tell you, it is disquieting. and for someone like me, being caught of guard - by a boy no less! a hot boy! a smart hot boy!... well, imagine if you will the feeling of being pantsed in the cafeteria. i made some feeble attempts at recovering my dignity, but at this point i was pretty much what a certain sniper would call, "an apology for myself." after a very minor recovery, well people, i ran. it's sad to say, but i retreated. i needed to regroup. prepare for a counter-offensive. to be quite honest, i'm still not sure what i meant. but when i figure it out, let me be clear. i will THROW DOWN!

Seth Sucks

From this title you'd think I hate this guy. But really............he just sucks.